A friend of mine who is more worldly than me once told me that people enter our lives either for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. He was correct but the extent that he was correct at that moment surpassed my understanding of the phrase.
For the pass 10 years I have lived with what modern science has not been able to explain. It is called psychosomatic pain. Since October 2001 I have felt excruciating pain in my chest and a fluttering pain in my abdomen. For the first year of this pain, from October 2001 to October 2002 exactly, everyday it felt like I was having multiple heart attacks that were triggered by things as simple as a slight bump or irregular sound. It was horrible and I would wish it upon no one. I fasted and fasted. By October 2002 the intensity of the pain had went away. However, the mind is an incredible learner. Once trained to believe something it will hold onto that pattern for years so up until very recently I had about 13 to 17 points of "odd" sensations like residual pain in my torso. Medical science does not understand nor knows how to categorize this type of psychological defect. I have had counselors tell me that it was linked to anxiety. I have also read (in more esoteric text) that this type of pain is due to emotional "tears" or "rips" in the emotional body and mind state. Whatever it is was it was awful! Stranger than this was the small things that antagonized the pain like laughter and even crying which I effectively stopped doing altogether. My laughter didn't hurt but the laughter of others sometimes did. Hearing someone cry had the same effect but something changed for the first time in over a decade I cried. I just felt it was time. So I cried and cried and slowly the pain began to fade.
On top of that I came into contact with a person who was an advisor, oil peddler, children's book fanatic, and glitter-junkie. She helped a lot. Our every phone conversations alleviated and mended the last few "rips" in my emotional shell. Furthermore, the oils seemed to have the same result. No more pain. By the time I had ordered my own supply of oils the pain was 99% gone and all the things in my life that were broken began to be fixed. The clogged bath tub that Drano for months could not fix began to flow again. The tree that I named Mkodi that sprouted the very hour that my brother died has for the pass 2 years has been dormant. I refused to throw it out so I kept watering it and watching if it would grow again. It did. Little sprigs of green and brown are finally emerging. I took note of one of the books she recommended (insisted) that I read called The Little Prince. In the book, The Prince takes care of a very vain rose and every night he puts a cover over it to protect it. So I covered my Mkodi with a self-made container. I can't claim that Mkodi feels anything except the warmth of sun rays and the quench of water sinking in potted Earth but I am sure as far as plants go it is glad to be growing again and I am happy because of that, too.
I am currently creating the final mask for a brief but potentially spectacular inaugural performance at the V2V festival this year and glitter is everywhere. Oddly enough I am no longer in good report or communication with this advisor. Every time we spoke everything I said to her was completely wrong to the point where it seemed contradictory for contradictory's sake. However, I have finally learned graciously the deeper meaning of my friend's initial statement about the way people come into our lives.
A reason (the briefest period).
A season (usually to complete a task).
A lifetime (self-explanatory).
It is just odd that sometimes people enter and exit your life for a simple reason yet end up irrevocably changing it for a lifetime.
Mkodi In It's New Container
My Glittered-up Rug
Their Guidance Is All Around Us Even If We Don't Completely Understand.
ADDENDUM:
In March of 2011 I went into the hospital to get a few x-rays of my back. Turns out that my back is fine, however, the doctors discovered clots in my lungs and left leg. I will live and the treatments are working so maybe all that "emotional pain" had a physical source. It never hurts to be spiritual but I just wish that this had been diagnosed earlier.
N8
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